


You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

by managerie



Series: Buffy The Vampire Slayer [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Post-Chosen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 04:03:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4549659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/managerie/pseuds/managerie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally published for the Dr. Squidlove’s Country Music List Prompt on LiveJournal on the 11th-Mar-2010<br/>Takes place after "Chosen". Does not include the Comic Universe</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

~ * ~

The Douglas Funeral Home was teaming with mourners. The 3 p.m. viewing of Mrs. Slovik was followed immediately by the memorial service for Sam Colman. In the largest hall a wake was drawing to a close. This event had been catered by South Side Liquor Emporium. No appetizers were served and no bartender mixed drinks. Starting in one corner stood a line of galvanized steel troughs filled with ice where bottles of cheap Gin, Whiskey and Vodka nestled. At the end of the wall, a table with napkins and plastic cups.

The family & friends of the deceased milled around clustered as close to the tubs as possible. Slurred laughter and angry mutterings could be heard but not distinguished. On the opposite side of the room, three elegant and sober ladies waited in guarded boredom. They stood out more for their comportment than simply for their beauty. The youngest, with long brown, straight hair, and slim arms was tallest of the three. She turned to the redhead who wore a dark ruby red velvet dress with a stylish crocheted black shawl about her white delicate shoulders.The blond in the middle perked up as the brunette spoke.

"Exactly how did Xander become such a great guy with those people as his parents?"

The redhead turned to watch the young man in question, late 20's in a navy blue suit across the room. She frowned at the hunched and defeated posture. "He spent a lot of time at my house."

The blond wrinkled her nose at a large dark haired man towering over Xander. The man was swaying and seemed to be drunkenly sneering at Xander, "God, I would too. Geez, these people are worse than demons. At least demons have standards. Remind me why I can't slay them."

Willow didn't take her eyes off of Xander as she answered distractedly, "You aren't allowed to kill humans. And they aren't really evil, just white trash."

Dawn followed Willow's gaze to the distinguished older gentleman interjecting himself between Xander and the large drunken lout, "If Xander's dad says one more word about what a disappointment Xander is, I think that vein on Gile's forehead is gonna burst."

Frustrated, Buffy stomped her foot and crossed her arms,"Why are we here again?"

Willow's attention continued on the far side of the room as she answered patiently, "Xander needed support to attend the funeral." She finally turned her head to address the blond fully, " And Buffy, Xander's Uncle Rory was a nice guy."

"And a lush." Buffy complained none too softly.

Nodding slowly as she returned her focus to Giles and Xander, Willow acquiesced, "Well, yeah but he was the only one of Xander's family that at least   _tried_ to be nice to Xander."

Buffy seemed resigned and shrugged her shoulders. A thought flashed behind her eyes as they got very big. She turned a pleading face towards Willow, "We don't have to do this again when Tony's liver finally implodes right?"

"Goddess, I hope not." Willow's eyes bugged out and she slapped her hand over her mouth. Mortified, Willow took a deep breath and dropped her hand. Calmly and carefully she continued," I mean, we will be there for Xander if he decides to attend his father's funeral."

As Dawn was about to make a retort, Tony's voiced rose to a level that was now audible to the three women."You got pregnant just to trap me. Admit it! He's nothing like me."

An emaciated woman who looked 60 but was actually a hardened, embittered 44 answered sourly,"Tony, get real. Why would I deliberately be stuck with you for 27 years?"

Undeterred, Tony gestured towards his son erratically, almost splashing his drink all over Giles, "Then you tell me why he don't even look like me?"

Jessica smirked as she sipped her own vodka on the rocks, "Just lucky I guess."

Scowling, Tony turned narrowed eyes on Xander. "It's all your fault. If you'd have let me beat that smart mouth out of him like I wanted, he wouldn't have turned queer."

Across the room the three women inhaled harshly. Buffy took a step forward, ready to defend the innocent and prevent anyone from getting hurt. Dawn started calling for Andrew to bring the car around front, now. Willow was walking over to extract Xander and hopefully shield the room from any chaos magic that was about to be thrown. It wasn't that the girls thought Anthony Harris didn't deserve what he was about to get, but they all knew that Rupert Giles would never forgive himself if he lost it like that. Damage control meant getting Giles out before the Ancient Latin started rolling.

"That is quite enough." A furious Giles declared right in Tony's face. "I whole heartily agree with you Mr. Harris. Xander is nothing like either one of you. Obviously, Sunnydale General gave you the wrong infant. I am certain that somewhere, a Nobel laureate is bemoaning the fact that their only offspring is serving 20 to life for vehicular homicide."

Rupert stepped back, placing his arm around Xander's waist and checking his watch, "Sadly, we have to depart for the airport."

Giles turned a gentled face and softened voice toward a stunned Xander, "Let us say our final farewell to your Uncle."

As he guided Xander over to the urn and large picture of Rory, Giles made eye contact with both Mr. & Mrs. Harris, "I fervently hope you both have a long life ahead of you, as I plan to be too old and feeble to attend another Harris family function."

With that, Rupert Giles guided his family out to the limousine Andrew had hired for the occasion. As he placed his lover inside the vehicle, he touched the left side of his suit jacket. Inside the breast pocket, a velvet jeweler's box rested. Sighing, Rupert resigned himself to another 6 months of planning. The ring would have to wait.

 

 

~ * ~

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> No Beta Reader. ConCrit is welcomed


End file.
